All that is writing is not gold
Saturday, June 13, 2009
When it's time to move on
I guess the hardest thing for me to do is to let people go. Just one of those strange things with me. No matter how bad things are, I hate to give up on anyone or to think that the relationship is just no longer compatible for both involved. This week though, I had to do just that. I'm really down about the whole event. But, it's also made me learn something about myself. To push myself to become a better person, inside and out. I've been alot of things in my past, and despite working hard to change myself to become something more I realize I still carry around my bad habits, even if not to the same extreme as they have been.
First and foremost I will work to be even less judgmental. I'm quick to pass judgment on a person before there is even a hello. There are a few womens groups that I'll be joining this summer and two mom's groups I'll be joining this fall. I'm excited about both. It'll be time to practice what I'd like to preach even more. Everyone is different and those differences should be celebrated instead of yanked out into the open and snubbed. Our therapist said, "Look at each other like one of God's children and decide if you would still say the same thing." I think that can apply to anyone and everyone.
Be more accepting. It goes up there with judgmental. Sometimes it's hard for me to swallow other's opinions, especially if I couldn't disagree more. I'm not angry abou their opinions, but I am quick to shoot it down and cover it with mine. I'd much rather nod my head and smile and let them think what they want.
Make friends that I'm proud to have as friends. I've come across alot of hypocrits, judgemental people and worst of all stupid people. I can't have a group of friends that I wouldn't invite over for a family dinner. If I'm always thinking bad thoughts about them or disagreeing with them, it isn't making me a good friend. Actually it's making me a rather bad friend. So I plan to be more selective. I seem to attract people that I am not just the complete opposite of, but those that exhibit even the same bad habits I have. That does no one any good.
Learn to let go. Sometimes things are minor compared to the grand scheme of things. I don't need a chip on my shoulder, I don't need to feel personally affected by everything. Sometimes it is what it is. But, sometimes people just need to be let go. I'm not dependent on any one relationship to see that the rest of my life is wonderful. I don't need to be in a bad relationship just to keep someone around. By closing one door many more will open and I need to be open to exploring my options. If I hadn't been willing to let some things go recently I never would have taken the opportunity to get to know others. Hanging onto my past has really only left me with the past. I'm a different person than I was ten years ago. My friendships haven't reflected that and that's sad.
I want friendships that are about building another person up. I want a friend who is able to listen with an open heart and mind. I need to surround myself with people who just get it. My sister is the best friend I have because she exhibits all of these things. She's the most humble person I know and I wish I could meet more people like her.
I don't know. I guess I'm feeling rather down and making a list of more positive goals to change the situation seems much more productive than moping the loss of something that I feel I've never had. To those of you with best friends who are perfect ina lmost everyway, give them a call and say thank you. Trust me it's as hard to find a good friend as it is to find a good husband.
Good night all. I'm off to watch some tube and read a book. Went to bible study tonight. Sis and I are really excited about the new series coming up. The End of times. Which always makes me sad to think about. If it happens during the time my daughter is growing up she'll miss out on marriage, having children, playing, having friends and going to the movies. It has always made me sad. Despite the fact that when it's over there are those of us going to an amazing place, but to think my daughter will have to also miss out on "worldly" fun saddens me as well. Maybe I shouldn't attend this series. But, I will anyway, not everything is easy to hear but sometimes it just has to be heard.
Posted by Miranda Heart ::
7:53 PM ::
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